Back Stabbing May Backfire

Back Stabbing Behind A Subject’s Back May Backfire and Hurt You

By Eugene Peterson

Did you grow up with the rule, “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, then don’t say anything at all.” In today’s business world, this little saying still makes a great deal of sense.  Recently, I caught myself doing a little backstabbing – saying negative things about another person – when they were not present or part of the conversation. Today, I am embarrassed and retrospectively ashamed that I did so. At the time, it felt good to slam that other person. I mistakenly believed that the listener would naturally sympathize with my position. Wrong. The effect quickly turned against me. It created large clouds of distrust.  My effectiveness was diminished.  It is simply good business practice to never talk negatively about anyone, no matter how severely they have maligned you, especially if that person is not present to hear your comments first hand. The one exception is when you are seeking advice.  Even then, you still need to bring the person into the conversation as soon as possible.  When I hear someone talking negatively about another, I have to wonder if they also talk negatively about me, behind my back.
My respect for that person is diminished.  There is a time for negative comments and that is when the person is present.  If you are successful in adhering to this rule, the level of trust and openness in your company will improve dramatically.